Taking Control

Life can often seem like a never-ending series of obligations and restrictions. We can’t do “this,” but we must do “that.” We’ve got obligations relating to our job, family, social activities, community functions and more. We’re restricted on time, energy, freedom and money, not to mention passion and meaning. With so many things around us out of our control, it’s easy to feel like we’re on a runaway roller coaster. At times we may experience moments of panic, helplessness, frustration, and anger because we can’t do anything about it. Or can we?

Very often, the things we believe to be out of our control really are not. We may convince ourselves they are simply because we fear facing the consequences other choices would bring about. Rather than make a potentially wrong decision, we make no decision at all – and end up feeling powerless about everything. It can be helpful to remember that we always have choices, and it’s never too late to change our minds. If we make a decision we later regret, we can simply make another decision and move in a better direction. Ironically, we usually end up regretting the decisions we didn’t make, rather than the ones we did. Inaction is disempowering, while focused action keeps us feeling more in control.

Even if certain things ARE out of our control doesn’t mean we can’t focus more on the things we can change. Sometimes doing anything in a proactive way can awaken our inner power and courage. We may not be able to do anything about our current job dissatisfaction, but we can certainly bring a sense of fulfillment into other areas of our lives. We may not be able to heal a particular relationship, but we can certainly work harder on making our other relationships healthy and strong. Feeling in control of our lives is usually a simple matter of doing what we can, rather than agonizing about what we can’t.

September 16th, 2007