How to Become an Effective Listener

Communication is a two-way process; the message not only needs to be delivered well, but it also has to be received and understood by the listener, too. Often times, we think that the most important aspect of communication is speaking, but in reality, both speaking and listening skills are just as important.

Effective listening takes place when the person not only listens with the intention of answering, but rather, he listens because he wants to understand. Therefore, he:

· Focuses on the listener

· Listens to his message

· Listens to what the person is interested in

For you to become an effective listener, you need to first get rid of the barriers to listening, which are:

1. Being preoccupied. When you are doing too many things at one time, it makes listening very difficult to do.

2. Making assumptions. When people are already assuming things, they will not be very keen on listening to what the other person is actually trying to say because they think they already know the answer.

3. Making judgments. It is human nature to judge and pre-evaluate people; and unfortunately, this is one of the reasons why we are not able to listen effectively. We should keep an open mind if we are seeking to understand the listener and his message.

By eliminating these barriers, you are now a step closer to enhancing your listening skills.

Now, in addition to this, you also need to follow the tips mentioned below:

1. Ask intelligent questions. By asking questions, you get a better picture of what it is the speaker is trying to say. A note to remember: when asking questions, ask relevant ones and make sure you listen to the answer given.

2. Take down notes. Taking notes of what has been said will not only enable you to understand, but it will also help you remember. Many pieces of information could be overlooked or forgotten because these were not written down.

3. Avoid interruptions. Impatient individuals can hardly wait to interrupt but you should know that interruptions will not really lead you anywhere; if you want to understand the message, let the speaker talk.

4.Practice active listening techniques. These techniques include paraphrasing and summarizing; these not only help you understand better but they also make the speaker know that you are in fact intently listening to him.

5. Be an empathetic listener. One should listen with the ears, eyes, and the heart. This means that he must not only focus his attention to the speaker but also be a vicarious listener; empathy will allow him to better understand by putting himself in the speaker’s shoes.

Listening is not a talent or an innate ability- it is a skill. One must make a conscious effort to really listen to the other person in order for him to become effective. Try it slowly every single day and pretty soon, you will become a natural at it. Once you have significantly improved this skill, you will come to realize that this will have a profound effect on your relationships with others.